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Nov 18 2016 7 Things To Think About When Life Cheats You Out Of Your Joy
"Sometimes we feel cheated on by others.
Learn to Be Mindful of Your Expectations
But (and there’s always a “but”)…
The person who cheated on you is likely broken in more ways than you realize. – When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves – they directly threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true. In many ways, they are deeply broken. This, however, does NOT excuse their behavior.
The truth hurts, but it’s much healthier than holding on to the lies you once believed. – The really scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us in the long run than exposed lies. Undiscovered lies erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation to the bitter end. Keep this in mind. The truth heals, even if it hurts at first.
Arguing with someone who has intentionally hurt you only enflames the pain. – Truth be told, you are often most powerful and influential in an argument regarding betrayal when you are most silent. The perpetrator never expects silence. They expect yelling, drama, defensiveness, offensiveness, and lots of back and forth. They expect to leap into the ring and fight. They are ready to defend themselves with sly remarks cocked and loaded. But your mindful silence? That can really disarm them. That can really give you the space you need to move forward, one way or another, with or without them.
It’s always best to wish people well, even if they don’t deserve it.– As Gandhi so profoundly said, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” If you spend your time and energy hoping someone will suffer the consequences for breaking your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.
Healing gets easier when you learn to accept an apology you never received. – Forgiveness is crucial for your healing. The key is to be mindful and grateful, despite what happened. It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.” When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self. It has nothing to do with freeing the perpetrator of his or her crime, and everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.
The person who hurt you doesn’t speak for the rest of us. – Every one of us suffers from at least one heart wrenching betrayal in our lifetime. In a backwards way, it’s what unites us. When it happens to you, the key is not to let one person’s despicable actions destroy your trust in others. Don’t let them take that from you.
A wonderful, life-changing gift may not be wrapped as you expect. – When you don’t get what you want, sometimes it’s necessary preparation, and other times it’s necessary protection. But the time is never wasted. It’s a step on your journey. Someday you’re going look back on this time in your life as an important time of grieving and growing. You will see that you were in mourning and your heart was breaking, but your life was changing for the greater good."
Courtesy of marcandangel.com
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